Chris's cookies
by fakesgirl22000
Summary: Chris works his magic with a batch of chocolate chip cookies... You'll wanna eat the oatmeal ones
1. Chapter 1

Alone in the manor Chris stood in the kitchen pulling a tray of cookies out of the oven. The doorbell rang, a smile spread across his face, "Right on time."

He walked to the front door and opened it, "Oh, I wondering when you would get here." He said with an air of disinterest as he looked upon the features of Inspector Sheridan.

"Chris Perry," she took her handcuffs off her belt.

He snorted, "You came here alone?" he looked down at the handcuffs, screw exposure, he thought as he orbed the handcuffs into his hand, "You wont need those Inspector."

"How-"

"Come in Jennifer, I made a batch of cookies." A grin spread across his face, "Don't even think about drawing that gun. Now come inside," he looked out at the overcast sky, "It's about to rain."

As soon as he'd spoken those words rain began to pour from the clouds above, Sheridan stepped inside.

"I suppose you want to know how I did it, don't you?"

"Yes." Sheridan drew her answer out, "I want to know how you pulled a Houdini and escaped without being seen."

"Chocolate chip okay?" Chris asked, "I made oatmeal as well but you don't look like you would like oatmeal."

"Chocolate chip will be fine." Sheridan went along with his little façade, "Thank you."

"So I'll show you. Watch this." Chris disappeared in a swirl of blue orbs then reappeared right before Sheridan. He laughed as she fell off the chair, sitting on the island he grinned, "Now you know. Eat your cookie."

"What's in it?"

"Flour, water, milk, brown sugar, chocolate…you know, it's a cookie."

Nervously she took a bite and her eyes clouded over, Chris hopped down, pulled up his pant leg and held his hand over his leg and a dog bite appeared. He waved his hand in front of Jennifer.

"Inspector? Are you okay?"

Sheridan blinked, "Who are you? What am I doing here?


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for all your reviews ppl! Here's the next instalment to Chris' cookies! Don't own the characters, and I definitely don't own the bit from Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy._

Chris grinned, "My name's Chris Halliwell, you're here because I was bitten by Mrs. Noble's dog and despite my objections, my sisters called it in."

"Right…Okay. Can I see the bite?"

Chris lifted his leg onto the chair beside Jennifer Sheridan and lifted the pant leg to reveal an angry looking wound, "See, I'm alright."

"That's rather nasty, are you sure you don't want to report it."

Chris nodded, "It's usually a pretty nice dog, I think I just scared it. I'm sorry your trip was for nothing Inspector."

"That's alright."

Chris put some of the chocolate chip cookies onto a plate and after cling wrapping them handed them to Sheridan, "Here, take these. Token of appreciation?" Chris said with a lopsided grin.

She smiled and took them, "Thank you Mr. Halliwell."

"Call me Chris."

Sheridan's smile grew a little wider, "Thanks for the cookies…Chris." She paused for a moment, "I should be getting back."

Chris nodded, "I'll show you out."

They walked back to the front door and as Sheridan walked out the front door the sisters arrived just in time to see Sheridan turn around and look at Chris who was leaning in the doorway, he gave a small wave as she got into her car.

The Charmed ones climbed out of the car and raced to the whitelighter, "What was Inspector Sheridan doing here?" Piper demanded, "And why the hell did she leave with a plate full of cookies?"

Chris grinned broadly, "Hello to you to Mum. She was here to arrest me…"

"WHAT?"

"Well I, Dad sort of broke me out of jail remember? Orbed really, but that's beside the point. She doesn't remember anything about the stolen car or the evading custody."

"Mind altering cookies?" Phoebe shrieked.

Chris walked inside and held his hands out, a thick red manila folder appeared in his hand with a smirk he looked at them, "And now we've got the Halliwell police file."

Chris sat the file down and put some more cookies onto another plate, "I need to go see Darryl, I'll be home soon."

Phoebe reached for a chocolate chip cookie and he slapped her hand away, "Oatmeal Phoebe, unless you want your memory altered."

There was a crash in the attic and they all orbed into the hall and could hear voices in the attic. Chris motioned for the sisters to follow him, the sight that they beheld was not altogether uncommon (For the Halliwell sisters anyway), but it was unusual.

A man with two heads was arguing with a tall dark haired Englishman:

"Hey this is terrific!" the two-headed man cried, "Someone down there is trying to kill us!"

"Terrific." The Englishman replied sarcastically.

"But don't you see what this means?"

"Yes. We're going to die."

"Yes, but apart from that?"

"_Apart_ from that?" the Englishman cried incredulously.

"It means we must be onto something!"

"How soon can we get off it?"

Before this argument could continue the narrator of this story cleared her voice and said, "Arthur, Zaphod, you guys are in the wrong story. It's time you left." She paused, "Ford and Trillian are waiting. "

"Oh, right on earth girl. We're going." The two figures disappeared as if nothing had ever happened and leaving the attic's occupants in a complete state of confusion and absolute shock.

It was a few minutes before anyone spoke, "Okay, what the _hell _was that about?" Phoebe asked.

"Don't know." Chris replied, "But it doesn't matter anymore, they're gone."

And so the Halliwell family went on with their twisted little existence as if Arthur Dent and Zaphod Beeblebrox had never appeared in their attic.


	3. Chapter 3

_Well…now that you're all nice and confused we can get back to the main plot of the story, THE ATTACK OF THE MIND ALTERING COOKIES! Mwahhaha!_

"Now I really have to get going." Chris said as he picked up the wrapped cookie and orbed out.

Reappearing in the alley near the police station he dusted himself off and walked in, "Hi," he said brightly to the desk clerk, "I'm here to see Darryl Morris."

"Why?"

"Why not?" Chris grinned cheekily and handed the man a cookie, "Have a cookie. They're chocolate chip."

The desk clerk took a bite and his eyes clouded over for a second, "So can I go see Darryl?"

"Go right ahead."

"Thank you." A satisfied smiled settled itself on Chris' features as he walked to Darryl's desk where Jenny Sheridan and Darryl Morris were both busy at work.

"Hi Jennifer."

Sheridan looked up and smiled at Chris, "Hello Chris." She said as she brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear, "What brings you here?"

"Just wanted to say hi." Darryl didn't miss colour seeping into Sheridan's cheeks, "And I needed to see Darryl in private if you can spare him."

"Of course." Sheridan smiled as Darryl rose from his seat and ushered Chris into a room.

"Chris you just can't walk into a police station when you're a wanted felon!"

Chris ran a finger along the filing cabinet, "Are you missing something Darryl?" he asked, not once looking at the man who would become his godfather, "Something important?" He hinted, his finger coming to rest at the top of the H draw, and yanked it open.

Darryl raced over and started looking for the police file on the Halliwells, "What have you done with it Chris?"

Chris jumped up and sat on the filing cabinet and looked up at Darryl through his hair, "What do you think I've done with it?" he asked darkly.

Darryl moved over to the P draw and just as he started to open it Chris kicked it shut, "Nope. Not in there." His earlier grin had resettled itself on his face.

"How, how could you do something so stupid? Just because they're not in the filing cabinet doesn't mean they're not on the computer!"

Chris hopped off the cabinet, "You people don't change your passwords in twenty-two years." He looked up at Darryl, "Did you know that?"

Darryl reached for his gun, "Oh please Darryl." Chris orbed it into the rubbish bin and replaced it with a cookie, "Have a cookie."

Darryl looked down at the cookie, "I think I'll pass."

"Please eat the cookie Darryl." Chris said with a strained smile, "I worked really hard on them and I'd really like you to try one."

Darryl hesitantly took a bite, "So," Chris drawled, "Are you and Sheila alright with watching Wyatt tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, it's fine." Darryl said absently, "Did I miss something?"

"Nope." Chris shrugged tracing circles on top of the filing cabinet, "You know, your new partner is kinda cute."

Darryl shrugged then Chris asked, "Is she single?"

"I don't know!" Darryl laughed, "Why don't you ask her?"

Chris grinned and opened the door, "Maybe later. I better get off, you know, planning the next _demon_stration."

"Tell Piper about seven okay?"

Chris nodded and stopped in front of Inspector Sheridan's desk, "Bye." He smiled wryly then walked out before she could say a word.

Jenny watched Chris stop at the door, turn and smile broadly at her then walk out the door, she looked over at her partner, "Is he single?"

Darryl laughed, "He asked the same thing about you."

"Really?" She blushed furiously.

Suddenly Chris came bristling back in, "Jennifer I was wondering if you…" he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Would like to go out with me sometime?"

She nodded, "I'd love to."

"How about P3 tomorrow night, about seven?"

She smiled, "I'll see you there."

Chris nodded and walked back out into the alley he'd appeared in and orbed back to the manor.

"Hello sweetie." Phoebe said as he orbed in, "How you going?"

He gave her an airy smile, "I've got a date tomorrow night."

"Oh really?" she smirked, "With a certain cookie eating inspector I assume?"

Chris grinned and nodded, "Yup. She said yes."

"Who said yes?" Piper and Paige asked as they walked into the kitchen.

"Jenny said she'd go out with me!" Chris grinned.

"Jenny?" Piper asked, her voice rising a few octaves, "As in Jenny Sheridan?"

Chris nodded with a broad grin, "Yeah, don't get mad okay?"

Piper smiled and said, "I'm not mad honey, I just don't want you to get hurt."

"You worry too much, you know that?"


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: So…I've confused the hell out of people with this story and all I've gotta say is GOOD! I decided this was going to be the most random piece of …. (You know what …. Means now don't you?) and the only thing really tying it together is a batch of cookies. (So no. The cookies ain't done yet.)_

**In the future**

"Why are you showing me this?" she growled, pulling at the chains, absolutely fuming.

"I guess Chris has a thing for redheads, hey Bianca?"

"Go to hell." She spat.

Wyatt smirked and looked at the pool watching his baby brother, "It's funny the power his cookies hold. One bite and you have the power of suggestion over someone…"

"What are you getting at?" Bianca asked.

(A/N: Obviously Wyatt healed her at the end of Chris-Crossed because she wasn't exactly dead when Chris dove through the portal.)

"What if someone, I don't know…influenced him to put some of the potion into one of the oatmeal cookies then told him to go after someone he _really_ didn't like?" Wyatt said off handedly.

"You don't have the power to reach that far back in time! Even you aren't that powerful!"

Wyatt laughed, "Our bond Bianca. Despite what Christopher wants to believe, it's still intact. Because of baby me. All I had to do is think it…and he did it. But you're right, I didn't have enough power to make him come home."

"Why are you telling me this?"

Wyatt smiled, "You wanna stop him before he screws her? Don't you?"

"What makes you think when you let me out of these chains I won't kill you where you stand?"

Wyatt walked over to her and snapped a metal band around her wrist. Waving a hand the chains came away, "Try it." He goaded chucking her an athame.

Bianca lunged at him but before she could hit him a searing pain went up her wrist causing her to fall to her knees, "See?" he smiled, "You can't do it. And I'm the only one who can undo that so you're going to have to play nice girly."

**In the past**

Chris went and picked up an oatmeal cookie and took a bite, suddenly everything came flooding back, "OH MY GOD!" he shouted.

The sisters came running in, "Where's the-" Piper saw the cookie in Chris' hand, "cookie?"

Chris turned to her, "Sheridan?" he asked incredulously, "I asked Sheriddan, the woman who wouldn't hesitate to kill me where I stand before she ate the cookie, out?"

"Yeah." Phoebe said, "So what's the problem?"

"I asked Sheridan out!" he shouted, "That's the problem!"

The sisters started laughing till they heard a female voice say, "I'll say that's the problem."

Everyone turned to see Bianca, not dead and NOT completely clad in skin tight leather, dressed in a pair of black jeans and a red singlet top with her hair spilling over her shoulders.

"Bianca?" Chris spluttered, "What kind of trick is this?"

"It's not a trick," Bianca said, walking toward her fiancée, "Wyatt healed me…I came here to stop you making a mistake your brother wants you to make."

"Wyatt wants me to what?" he paused his voice raising a few octaves as the realisation hit him, "How the hell did he do that?"

"Do what?" Paige asked.

"He used your bond to get you to put the potion mix into one oatmeal cookie and then influenced you to go after someone you really don't like."

"HA!" Phoebe laughed, "I told you he had to be under a spell! Pay up!"

"You were placing bets?" Chris shrieked, a few exposed glasses exploding, "I can't believe this! He looked up at the ceiling, "And I can't believe you!"

"So what are you going to do?"

"Aside from disappearing off the face of the earth for the next hundred years?" Chris asked sarcastically, "Any suggestions?"

"How about the truth?" Phoebe suggested.

"Yeah," Chris laughed, "The cookies I gave you after I exposed magic to you-"

"You did WHAT?" Piper shrieked.

"It's okay Mum, it was all for a reason. And the cookies erased her memories of it anyway. So Phoebe lets get this straight, you want me to say and I quote, 'the truth' okay lets see…" he began ticking things off on his fingers, "I'm from the future, I'm engaged to a girl I thought my brother killed, I'm a witch, my mother is one of the most powerful witches in the world. Oh and lets not forget my favourite, I gave you MIND ALTERING COOKIES!"

Paige grinned, "Hang on future boy, there could be an easier way."

**The next night at P3**

The music was blaring and Chris and Jenny Sheridan were talking at the bar when Bianca walked up, ring on her finger, "What the hell?" she shouted at Chris.

"Bianca it's not what it looks like."

(I was going to have Sheridan vanquished in a freak accident but this is more fun)

"So you're _not_ sitting here at your sister's club about to stick your tongue down this skank's throat?"

"Chris who is she?"

Who am I? I'm his fiancée!"

Jenny turned back to Chris, "Is it true?"

Chris nodded, and two seconds later Jenny's hand connected with his face mussing his hair, "How could you?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't come near me ever again!" she snapped and stormed out.

Chris grinned, snaking his arms around Bianca's waist and kissing her, "Thank you."

(And that as they say is THAT! Bianca and Chris are reunited, Sheridan's just pissed because Chris was engaged, Wyatt gets saved but unfortunately some things can't change. Giedeon kills Chris and this time it's Bianca AND Leo who kick his ass.)


End file.
